Ladies and gentlemen, introverts and extroverts, clingy friends and commitment-phobes — gather ‘round for the revolutionary, slightly codependent fashion statement you never knew you needed: the Emotional Support Human T-Shirt! 👕
Tired of being mistaken for someone who has their life together? Need a walking, talking excuse to avoid awkward social situations? Want to label your plus-one without legally adopting them? Say no more!
This shirt says what you can’t — “I brought my emotional support human. Please direct all questions, judgment, and small talk to them.”
Perfect for:
Family gatherings where you need backup.
Social events where you need to dodge conversations faster than your ex dodges responsibility.
Workplaces where "team player" is code for "carries everyone's emotional baggage."
Made from 100% cotton, 0% emotional availability. Bonus: Wearing it gives you +10 charisma and a passive-aggressive aura of protection.
Get yours today — because therapy is expensive, but this shirt is not. 💁♀️💳
Warning: Emotional support human not included. Shirt may attract clingy friends, therapists, or people who think it’s a cry for help. (It might be.)
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